Once upon a time I was super cool and would skydive and bungee jump and do all kinds of scary stuff but let me tell you that NOTHING holds a candle to pregnancy. Pregnancy will make you google the most ridiculous stuff in the middle of night as you wonder what you got yourself into. Let’s talk about a few of these scary but weirdly normal pregnancy symptoms.
Got Weird Skin Pregnancy Symptoms? It could be PUPPP’s
First off, where does it get off having such an adorable sounding name? Don’t fall for it, it is literal torture. This is a rash that makes you incredibly itchy. Most women who develop PUPPP’s will begin to notice a small rash later in pregnancy.
I had this with my second and still think about how miserable that was. I was itchy all day and night. I couldn’t sleep because I was so itchy. Scratching didn’t make it feel better.
I tried everything.
I bought all the creams out of pure desperation.
If you are struggling with PUPPP’s, I am very sorry because it is horrific. One of the things I found helpful was oatmeal baths in room temperature or colder water. If you like scalding hot water when you bathe like I do, this extra sucks because you definitely don’t want to waste your delicious bath but I promise it will be worth it. After this, I would immediately apply Sarna Sensitive Skin Lotion to any itchy spots and that would usually feel okay for a few hours. Yes, I said hours. This is all all day everyday symptom.
A friend bought this cream after I mentioned I had PUPPP’s and I will forever be grateful.
Lastly, I bought Grandpa’s Pine Tar Soup. I don’t know why but it works. It is magic in a bar. Buy the 3 pack because you will need it. Good luck.
Scary Symptom Number 2: Hemorrhoids
This is a straight nightmare, one of the worst but most common pregnancy symptoms. If you don’t know what these are, good for you. If you do, you are not alone. It is extremely common. It can be itchy. It can be painful. It is always terrible.
Don’t google it though. You will have regrets if you do.
Also, fun fact: once you get them, you are more prone to continue getting them. Isn’t that a fun nugget? No. No, it is not. I live in constant fear of hemorrhoids.
Some good ways to prevent hemorrhoids for you lucky ducks that haven’t experienced them are eating fiber-rich foods like veggies and fruits and drink tons of water to help with pooping. It is also good to avoid pushing too much while pooping or sitting for too long on the toilet.
If you already have them, I am so sorry. I know it’s uncomfortable and just all over terrible. Here are some ways to experience relief:
- witch hazel pads. These things are magical. Get two, fold them in half like a taco and stick them between your butt cheeks. Not pretty or comfortable but so so worth it.
- water and high fiber foods will also help to get more regular stool movements
- wipes. Toilet paper is your enemy. The best solution I found is a bidet to spray your butt and then a cloth wipe. These are the absolute best ones. It is so gentle on your upset booty. If we use it on our baby’s butts, why wouldn’t we want to use them on our own right?
- ice packs. If you have a super aggravated bottom, this is going to feel just incredible. Put the ice pack on your bottom and enjoy the cool feeling that will surely soothe some of the pain associated with hemorrhoids.
- definitely don’t sit on the toilet for too long or push too hard. This is a sure fire way to make an uncomfortable situation even more so. I know this is extra hard since pregnancy tends to go hand in hand with constipation because of course it does.
Pregnancy Symptoms are more than Morning Sickness: Enter Food Aversions
Everyone knows that pregnancy comes with some interesting cravings but I don’t see many talking about the aversions. For me, this was peanut butter. I loved peanut butter prior to getting pregnant. One of my favorite snacks was peanut butter energy balls or celery with peanut butter. In fact, I used to put it on a bunch of different things: smoothies, pudding, pancakes, etc.
As soon as I became pregnant, I could no longer stand it.
My husband loved having peanut butter smoothies when he was running late for a meal. I would have to skip it and it would nauseate me for him to consume them because I could now smell it on him.
I am not exaggerating when I say that he would have a smoothie for lunch, come home at 6, and I would instantly smell peanut butter on him even if he brushed his teeth or had chewed gum. I have no idea how. I guess a nose like a hound dog is another pregnancy symptom. It also made me want to vomit though.
Even after my first was born, I still didn’t like it. I have only recently started tolerating it in certain foods. 4 years later I can eat it every once in a while.
Pro Tip: Always carry a safe food with you, as hunger can also add to nausea. Don’t let yourself go hungry if you’re surrounded by food you can’t stomach. Pack your favorite crack or snack in a bite bag and keep it on you on the go!
I have had friends who stopped consuming meat, coffee, all kinds of things. There is really nothing you can do about this other than avoid the food until you are ready again.
Expect the Unexpected: Nosebleeds
This is one of the weirdest for me. I had only ever had one nosebleed in my life when I got elbowed while playing soccer. When I got pregnant, I was getting constant nosebleeds. I still get constant nosebleeds for seemingly no reason. It is the worst.
These are some of the things that have helped me and others:
- moisturizing. I use a saline nasal gel to keep my nostrils nice and moist.
- dry air humidifier. This is amazing. Everyone should have one. It helps add moisture to the air which helps keep those nostrils happy.
- stay hydrated. Water really is the key to a more comfortable pregnancy.
If you have never had a nosebleed and you want to be prepared if you do, here are some tips:
- keep your head higher than your heart
- lean forward. I had always been told to put my head back but quickly learned that it is not good.
- pinch the top of your nostrils and maintain the pressure for a few minutes
- cold water or an ice pack can help slow bleeding by constricting the blood vessels.
Call your doctor if you are having trouble breathing, bleeding won’t stop after 30 minutes, you become disoriented. When in doubt, it’s better to call and find out if your symptoms are within the range of normal.
The Smelliest of the Pregnancy Symptoms: Farts
Nobody told me this would be a thing. As soon as I became pregnant, I was basically a farting machine. I had ZERO control over my gas. Expect some serious flatulence during pregnancy. It can happen at the beginning or all nine months if you’re extra lucky.
Funny story, I used to teach and my body particularly loved to fart in the middle of a class. At the time, I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear but in retrospect, it was kind of hilarious. I have accepted that this is a normal bodily function that should not be shamed. In fact, I have made sure my kids never feel ashamed of their gas. My daughter always says “sometimes you just gotta fart” when someone comments on it and she’s not wrong.
I still have an insane amount of gas that I never had before but I definitely don’t walk around farting left and right. I control my gas until a more socially acceptable space because I want friends.
It helps that we haven’t gone anywhere in almost two years.
Pregnancy is filled with all kinds of interesting symptoms that are not always talked about. Hopefully, this quick read gave you a little more insight into pregnancy or at least made you feel more normal.
Your body is creating a whole human being, a little bit of gas is totally worth it. At least, I think so.
What are some of the weirdest pregnancy symptoms you experienced/ are experiencing?