We’re obviously big fans of parents and caretakers of all kinds at Lil Helper. And while we do our best to spread that love, we know that dads don’t always get as much attention when it comes to parenting content. So we thought, as a way to celebrate Father’s Day, we would focus on a very dad-centric topic: the benefits of having a vasectomy.
Now, I know the idea of surgery on your nethers may not be on your bucket list. You may be silently cursing me for ruining your special day with the very thought. The topic is likely to cause some mixed feelings at best... and at worst...
But hear me out.
Because there are some unexpected benefits of having a vasectomy that could outweigh those doubts.
Unexpected Benefits of Having a Vasectomy
1. It Simplifies Your Sex-Life
If you’re a parent, there are already enough hurdles between you and some uninterrupted spicy time. Throw in worries about creating more tiny mood-killers and you can pretty much forget about it. But getting a vasectomy could change that. So long as you have a committed partner, one of the benefits of having a vasectomy is that it allows for a lot of sexual freedom. No need to worry about condoms, pills, or any contraceptive mishaps.
Maybe this means you get to be more spontaneous. Maybe it means finding time for a quickie before the chicken nuggets are done and the next episode of Bluey is over. Either way, it removes a lot of logistical barriers. And that is always a bonus when it comes to sexy time.
2. It’s a Pretty Simple Procedure
Speaking of simplifying things... One of the benefits of having a vasectomy is that it is a pretty straightforward procedure.
Now, we are talking about surgery here. This means that there are both benefits and risks you need to consider before making the final call. It’s also worth saying that I am someone who writes poop jokes on the internet and not a doctor, so you may want to loop a medical professional into this at some point.
But, compared to folks with uteruses, people getting a vasectomy have it much easier in the permanent birth-control department. Vasectomies are incredibly effective, low-risk, and quick. It’s usually performed as an outpatient procedure, only requires local anesthetic, and has a pretty short recovery time.
There are lots of great, simple resources out there to help you understand exactly what is involved but as far as surgeries go, getting the chop is pretty mild.
3. You’ll Have an Excuse to Sit on the Couch in Your Sweats
This may be one of my favourite benefits of having a vasectomy. Because even though the procedure is pretty straightforward if ever there was an excuse to go full “gremlin mode,” I’d say this is it. I know I said recovery was quick, and it is. You can expect to be fully healed in about 7-10 days. But most doctors recommend a few days of laying low with an ice pack. This means you will get the chance to spend a few days on the couch binging The Mandalorian and eating whatever you want.
4. You’ll Get “Sex Homework”
Hanky panky will be off the table for those first 7 days of your recovery, which may seem like a bummer. But I have two words for you that will completely make up for it: sperm clearance. One of the unexpected benefits of having a vasectomy is that your doctor is going to tell you to “clear the pipes” post surgery... a lot. This is so that you can clear the sperm that was already in said pipes before your surgery. So if you need a way to talk your partner into making the beast with two backs or an excuse for some solo amorous congress, you’ll be able to say that both are officially doctor-recommended.
Side note: If you are worried about any mess involved in following this very important medical advice, make sure you check out our Lifesaver Mats.
5. Your Partner Will Be Grateful
Avoiding an unplanned pregnancy is a lot of work for people with uteruses. So once you’ve decided that you are done with farming womb fruit, taking that responsibility off your partner’s plate will be very much appreciated.
There’s even a chance you can cash in on some relationship capital. “Remember the time I let a stranger slice up my undercarriage,” has some potential as an excuse. But I don’t recommend overplaying that card.
6. Cuts Down On Costs
Another thing you and your partner may be grateful for is some wiggle room in the budget. One of the benefits of having a vasectomy is that you no longer need to spend money on your chosen method of contraception. The savings of this can really add up over time. And that’s not even taking into account how much more expensive would be to have and raise more kids. We all know that kids can bring untold joy into your life. But piano lessons, hockey equipment, and (ya know) food bring in untold amounts of expense.
Ultimately, you and your partner know what is right for your family. But if you are content with the number of humans you have created to buy you ties and “World’s Greatest Dad” mugs every year, maybe it is time to consider getting snipped.
Either way, we hope you have a fabulous Father’s Day!